“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek” – Joseph Campbell
Standing at a summit now, I feel something I once thought impossible: Peace. It was a long journey that consisted of a breakdown, control, letting go, and a valley of darkness.
Seven years ago, I was a shell of my former self. I had broken down; All the way down. The mirror showed a stranger: mouth drawn into a grimace, skin ashen grey, eyes empty. Each night I suffered from bitterness, anxiety, and regret, until one moment when it all shifted. One truth became clear: I needed to let go of bitterness.
I spent two years trying to control my life, building systems and rules as if enough structure could prevent me from ever seeing that hollow-eyed stranger again. It was a misguided effort, like trying to hold water in cupped hands.
I spent three years learning to sit with my emotions, recurring thoughts, and unwanted reactions. I sought therapy, saw coaches, read self help books, and ultimately faced my demons by learning to accept them and embrace the lessons they brought.
I spent another two years letting go – of identity, of beliefs, of the stories I told about my life. This brought me, only two short weeks ago, to a place that could only be described as hopeless and meaningless. If seven years ago I had a breakdown, then what I had just experienced was a valley. A valley cast in shadows where I was lost. It was a dark night of the soul.
Where I stand now is vastly different. It is witnessing a wide open panorama view from the top of a mountain where things are visible for miles. There is no place I’d rather be than here, in this moment of pure presence. This isn’t an ending – it’s more like a birth. From this vantage point, the possibilities are infinite, yet there’s no urge to chase them. Just the simple joy of being here, now.
- Have you experienced your own dark night of the soul?
- What did it teach you?
- Where are you on your journey – breakdown, control, healing, letting go, or somewhere else entirely?
- What would “ease” look and feel like in your life?
Share your thoughts in the comments below, or if you prefer, sit with these questions in quiet reflection. Sometimes the deepest insights come not from answering, but from allowing the questions to work on us.
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