“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Mark Twain
How facing our mortality can set us free
We all know we’re going to die. It’s the most obvious fact of life, yet we spend so much energy avoiding this truth. We dodge, we distract, we deny – anything to keep that stark reality at arm’s length. But what if, in our desperate attempts to outrun death, we’re actually running away from life itself?
The Root of All Fear
My therapist once told me: “All fear can be traced to the fear of death.” At first, I didn’t understand what she was saying, but the more I explored it, the more I saw the truth in her words.
Take public speaking, for instance. Why does it terrify so many of us? Let’s see where that takes us:
- If I’m homeless… I might die.
- If I speak poorly, it will be embarrassing.
- If it’s embarrassing, I might lose respect.
- If I lose respect, it could hurt my career.
- If my career suffers, I might lose my job.
- If I lose my job, I could end up homeless.
Suddenly, that “irrational” fear of public speaking doesn’t seem so irrational, does it?
Existing, Not Living
In our quest to protect ourselves from the fear of death, we often resort to avoidance, distraction, or endless worry. The irony? In trying so hard not to die, we forget to live. We shuffle through our days in a kind of limbo, neither fully alive nor dead – just… existing.
I know this limbo all too well. For years, I was paralyzed by anxiety and worry. Every choice felt monumental, every risk catastrophic. I was so afraid of the consequences that I stopped making choices altogether. Life became a series of hours to be endured rather than moments to be lived.
Courage: From avoidance to acceptance of fear
So, how do we break free from this paralysis? With courage. But here’s the kicker – courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s standing toe-to-toe with fear, looking it straight in the eye, and saying, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m accept the lessons you have to teach.”
COURAGE IS FACING FEAR, NOT AVOIDING IT
For me, conquering the fear of death meant accepting my own mortality. It meant walking right up to the edge of that fear and surrendering to it. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t avoid it. I did the opposite – I let go and accepted it. I was willing to die if that’s what was needed.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t die. But something in me did shift. In place of fear, I found liberation. My mortality, once a source of dread, became a refreshing breeze of freedom.
The Double-Edged Sword of Liberation
Now, before you think I’ve got it all figured out, let me tell you – this liberation comes with its own set of challenges. When you truly accept that nothing is permanent, you might start wondering: Does anything really matter? If all our contributions, relationships, and possessions are temporary, what’s the point?
It’s a slippery slope from “nothing is permanent” to “nothing has meaning.” And that’s a dangerous place to be. Why do anything if it all means nothing in the end?
Creating Meaning in the Moment
But here’s where the magic happens. When we accept our mortality, when we accept our fears instead of running from it, we open ourselves up to a profound truth: Meaning isn’t something we find, it’s something we create.
Every moment becomes an opportunity. Every interaction becomes a chance to leave a positive mark on the world. We can’t take our achievements with us, and our legacies may fade. But in this moment – right here, right now – we have the power to create meaning, to spread love, to make a difference.
CREATE MEANING IN EACH MOMENT
So, I leave you with this question: If you knew your time on this earth was limited (hint: it is), how would you choose to spend today? What meaning will you create? What love will you share? What mark will you leave on this moment?
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